Author note: This started because a Comp II student asked for an example body paragraph. I sat down to model what I ask my students to do—and didn’t stop. I love creative work, but this reminded me that I also love argument, evidence, and the discipline of thinking something all the way through. I’m sharing this not as a “perfect example,” but as proof—to myself as much as anyone—that I still practice what I teach. Sometimes we forget that we’re allowed to be proud of that.
Content note: This essay discusses infidelity, divorce, and marriage.
Infidelity and the Media: Divorcing the Mind from the Narrative
The legal institution of marriage has been around since well before the establishment of the Roman Empire; however, recently, there has been a decline in marriages as well as an increase in divorces. Many argue that this is simply because the idea of love or commitment is waning with each generation, and while there may be some truth in a rise of disillusionment in the institution itself, this is not the sole reason it is happening. The institution of marriage was established and refined to encourage wandering men to return home and create a lineage for the betterment of their community. While this notion makes sense for the time that it was created—one full of diseases, war, and political turmoil—that notion no longer holds true. In fact, society today is facing the opposite issue with overpopulation becoming a more pressing issue as each decade passes. With this traditional aim of marriage no longer in play, society is left with marriage out of the desire to spend one’s life with each other. Arguably, this should cause marriages to last longer as the reason is personally driven in not communally; however, the leading cause of divorce, infidelity, is on the rise leading to numbers that are concerning. From as early as the 12th century, society has praised and romanticized the idea of affairs and wayward lovers, and unfortunately, this message has not lessened with the advent of modern media, if anything, it has become heightened due to the rate at which society is now engaging with the idea of infidelity through various media platforms. While it may be natural to place the blame for the decline of marriage on time and a shift in morals, that is incorrect, as the root issue comes from how society presents the leading cause of divorce, infidelity, in the media.
Lasting marriages have been steadily declining since the 1900s, and while there are several reasons that factor into this, infidelity is the leading cause. According to Loo (2024), “the marriage rate in 2022…represents a 54% decline since 1900” and the “rate peaked in 1920 at 92.3, which was almost triple the 2022 rate” (para. 2). The general reasoning for this is that society’s “morals” have declined and that there has been a shift towards more fickle relationships that do not require commitment, time, and energy in younger generations. While these things may hold some weight in the overall conversation, the leading cause for divorce is infidelity. In a 2003 study, individuals were followed for seventeen years, and “infidelity emerge[d] as the most commonly reported cause of divorce” (Amato & Previti, 2003, p. 621). The United States is currently faced with a steep decline of marriage, but instead of looking for a root cause and determining why infidelity rates have increased, the discourse surrounding this topic is largely about cultural shifts in the United States and in the current generation. However, this is not an isolated issue; in a 1989 study, eighty-eight societies were analyzed and “conjugal dissolution follows from adultery…[making] adultery a significantly more common cause than any other except sterility” (Betzig, 1989, p. 658). Clearly, the notion of cheating on one’s spouse is not a new idea that the current generation has begun to take part in, but the increased engagement in media and the glorification or praise for infidelity has caused the idea of cheating to feel almost desirable, coming close to a needed “lived experience.” Logically, these numbers should be seeing a decline as communication between partners has increased, gendered social expectations have begun to shift, and the idea of marrying older has become more acceptable. However, the numbers are doing the opposite, and this is because media is still portraying infidelity as a glorified moment in marriage and something that can be repaired, done without repercussions, and in some cases even encouraged if the partner in question is deemed “deserving” by the larger populace.
Depicting infidelity as something acceptable in the light of true love is not a recent development and can be found in media as far back as the 12th century in the tale of King Arthur in the Round Table. Lancelot, the King’s closest knight, falls in love with Guinevere, the King’s wife. They eventually give in to their desires and betray the King and Guinevere’s marriage bed; however, the overarching theme that comes from this story is not that infidelity can lead to the entire collapse of a kingdom or that the two were wrong in their decisions, instead it is that “their adulterous behaviors are justified because of their compatibility and natural love for one another” (Barney, 2015, p. 66). Themes and lessons like these did not have a massive impact in the 12th century due to reading being a privileged skill and pastime reserved only for the elite. However, with the rise of media engagement and the decline in media literacy, the ability for story lines like these to impact consumers in modern times is dramatically higher. This phenomenon is specifically concerning when considering that in 2025, one of the top five reasons for using the internet was “watching videos, TV shows or movies” with the report noting that 54.7% of those polled over sixteen providing this reason (Kemp, 2025). If this is added to the fact that “5.56 billion people use the internet,” and, according to the same global digital usage report, those “users increased by 136 million” when compared to 2024 reports, it is not difficult to understand why the same themes in storytelling are having a larger impact on consumers today than they did in the 12th century (Kemp, 2025). If infidelity continues to be glorified at a rate that matches the increase of engagement with media, the numbers that show divorce increasing does not come as a surprise as media is quite literally encouraging viewers to “experience” certain life events through consistently displaying this in multiple media platforms. Arguably, this might not be a wholly terrible thing if infidelity was only depicted as something that could lead to negative consequences; however, this is not accurate, and according to research, depicting negative consequences does not drastically alter the affect viewing the material has on viewer actions.
When looking at the repercussions of divorce, studies clearly show that all parties are negatively impacted. Even in co-parenting situations that are deemed “healthy,” children are often subject to experiences that impact their social and emotional rearing. Women who experience divorce regularly report struggling to provide for their new household as easily as they did before, and men are more likely to face unique hardships due to biases in court rulings regarding joint custody. While not all divorced couples have children, in 2022, “the share of recently divorced adults with minor children in the household” was 41% (Wiborg, 2024, par. 2). This does leave many childless people unaccounted for; unfortunately, that group does not fare better when looking at the repercussions of divorce/separation. According to Penning et al. (2024), “older childless separated/divorced men reported greater emotional loneliness” (p. 1571). While there are positives that come from divorce, those are based largely on the domestic situation that exists between partners. When considering the data that reviews the average experience, divorce is largely negative. If divorce is negative, actions that lead to divorce would largely be negative as well, which is why the media’s presentation of infidelity is problematic. Firstly, by depicting infidelity consistently, regardless of positive or negative consequences, society becomes desensitized to the notion of the action being wholly wrong. According to Bryant and Rockwell (1994), “massive exposure to prime-time television programming that dwelt on pre, extra, or nonmarital sexual relations caused the young viewers to rate the sexual indiscretions…as significantly less bad” than those not exposed to the same viewing conditions (p. 188). Exposure to an idea repeatedly can and does lead to a shift in how that person, place, or action is viewed, and this data only looks at television. In 2025, media includes massive enterprises like social media, streaming platforms, video games, and the music industry. Society is being inundated with discussions regarding what is considered cheating, how cheating happens, and some platforms go so far as to dedicate themselves to exposing the unfaithful. While this sounds positive at surface level, the sheer engagement with the topic is working to make viewers less likely to view the action as negative and instead engage with it as though it is a common occurrence, lowering viewers’ likelihood of responding to the action of infidelity in a negative way.
The normalization of infidelity and the increase in sexual content in the media has made it to where infidelity is normal, excusable, and in some cases encouraged. According to Alexopoulos and Gamble (2024), “A recent [2020] analysis [by Dajches and Aubrey] of sexual behavior in entertainment television…found that sexual behavior was found in 68% of the episodes coded…which leads [the authors] to suggest that infidelity occurs nearly half as often as sexual activity” (p. 1504). When over half of the content being ingested is sexual and almost half of that deals with physical and sexual infidelity, the “moral wrong” struggles to remain only on the screen and instead seeps into reality in ways that create tangible issues. Social media has also created an increase in parasocial relationships, or the belief that a person has a personal and sometimes intimate relationship with a celebrity or fictional person. Simultaneously, social media has normalized sharing every aspect of one’s life from getting ready with “Outfit of the Day” trends to sharing deeply personal moments, like the loss of one’s child. While there are some positives to this, there are increasing negatives as well due to the feeling that “the public gave the celebrities their status, and in return, [they] feel like they [are] entitled to…peek into their lives” or to some extent have a say in it (Ben Zvi, 2025, par. 4). This compounds the issue with the rise of media and the consistent depiction of infidelity. The over normalization of this action has resulted in fans encouraging or openly posting desires to see actors take their on-screen relationship into reality with no regard to the real relationships/marriages they may already have. In 2024, Niki Reed, the wife of The Vampires Diaries star Ian Somerhalder, received “corrosive remarks about how Somerhalder should get back together with his former…co-star, Nina Dobrev” despite his current marital status with Reed (Chadive, 2024, para. 7). Comments like this are no longer the minority, with entire fandoms forming around the idea of a fictional relationship going “off-screen.” Arguably, this is harmless considering no one is forcing Somerhalder to divorce his wife, but the larger issue is that the populace is demanding it. Society has gone from the notion that divorce is something almost entirely forbidden in the 12th century to something that under the right circumstances can be championed to the point of creating instances of infidelity.
The argument that media could discourage infidelity by displaying the negative consequences of it does have merit. According to Alexopoulos and Gamble (2016), “negative consequences such as anger, verbal conflict, and sadness were depicted more frequently than positive consequences” (p. 1505). The idea that negative consequences being viewed alongside the act of infidelity could lead one to argue that the saturation of infidelity in the media has the potential to be good if it is connected to those negative consequences. However, the same authors also note that “depictions of positive consequences, such as physical satisfaction, were more common for sexual infidelity, whereas negative [ones] were more common for romantic infidelity” (Alexopoulos & Gamble, 2016, p. 1505). This proves that negative consequences are not consistently tied with the action of infidelity, so even though there are depictions of negative consequences, that alone is not enough to counteract the impact ingesting the content in the first place has. Even if negative consequences were the only thing shown in the media, exposure alone is still having a large impact. According to Birnbaum et al. (2022), “greater perceptions of adultery norms were not only associated with greater desire for alternative partners but also with increased efforts to interact with them in the future” (p. 27). Engaging with media that is saturated with a specific theme will guarantee that the viewer thinks about that theme. The more time engaged in that thinking will yield changes in behavior. Hypothetical negative consequences faced by fictional characters are not enough motivation to offset the impact engaging in the narrative will have. Additionally, depicting infidelity at a high rate across all media platforms increases the “normalcy” associated with it, which can increase the rate of issues like spousal jealousy. Amato and Rogers (1997) interviewed approximately 1,500 participants via telephone and determined that “sexual infidelity [and] jealousy” were “good predictors of divorce” within twelve years (p. 622). The problem is not media or sexual content or infidelity alone; the problem is what happens when these things come together and are marketed across media platforms in a society that has seen an alarming decline in media literacy. According to Media Literacy Now, “of adults surveyed, 62% had no opportunity in high school to reflect on how media affects their beliefs, feelings, or actions” (para. 4). This is not a generational issue. This is not a decline in morals. This is what happens when the power of media meets a susceptible population.
The idea of infidelity is not new, nor are the consequences of it; however, society has unprecedented access to this concept. The power of shifting something from “taboo” to “normal” cannot be underestimated as it is through this shift that society has tackled some of the biggest issues of the 21st century. Unfortunately, the same weight that this shift can yield in the positive, it can swing in equal measure towards the negative. Divorce and the rate of it is a heavy topic and one that concerns many but failing to recognize how media is portraying the leading cause and what constant access to that cause is doing will only result in continual declines in lasting marriages and, at best, temporary solutions. If the institution of marriage is to stabilize, it will have to start with recognizing the power media holds over beliefs and how engagement with specific narratives over time can alter everything from thoughts to behaviors.
References
Alexopoulos, C., & Gamble, H. (2022). Prime time affairs: A qualitative analysis of infidelity in popular television programs. Sexuality & Culture, 26, 1490-1509. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-022-09955-9
Amato, P. R., & Previti, D. (2003). People’s reasons for divorcing: Gender, social class. The life course, and adjustment. Journal of Family Issues, 24(5), 602-626. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X03254507
Amato, P. R., & Rogers, S. J. (1997). A longitudinal study of marital problems and subsequent divorce. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 59, 612-624. https://research-ebsco-com.connorsstate.idm.oclc.org/c/i3ji36/search/details/piq4ksy7rz?q=A%20Longitudinal%20Study%20of%20Marital%20Problems%20and%20Subsequent%20Divorce
Barney, M. D. (2015). Women’s influence on Chretien de Troyes. Journal of Student Research, 4(2), 64-68. https://doi.org/10.47611/jsr.v4i2.243
Ben Zvi, S. S. (2025, July 16). Parasocial relationships: Why we feel entitled to others. Zencare Blog. https://blog.zencare.co/parasocial-relationships-entitlement-psychology/#:~:text=The%20Psychology%20Behind%20Parasocial%20Relationships,access%20to%20millions%20of%20others
Betzig, L. (1989). Causes for conjugal dissolution: A cross-cultural study. Current Anthropology, 30(5), 654-676. http://www.jstor.org/stable/2743579
Birnbaum, G. E., Zholtack, K., & Ayal, S. (2022). Is infidelity contagious? Online exposure to norms of adultery and its effect on expressions of desire for current and alternative partners. Achives of Sexual Behavior, 51, 1-43. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02392-7
Bryant, J., & Rockwell, S. C. (2013). Effects of massive exposure to sexually oriented prime-time television programming on adolescents’ moral judgment. In D. Zillman et al. (Eds.), Media, Children, and The Family: Social Scientific, Psychodynamic, and Clinical Perspectives (pp. 183-196). Routledge. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=odL5AQAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA183&dq=Bryant,+J.,+%26+Rockwell,+S.+C.+(1994).+Effects+of+massive+exposure+to+sexually+oriented+prime-time+television+programming+on+adolescents%E2%80%99+moral+judgment&ots=HG9cAaENCS&sig=kArpK5_siagjes2ixNLED9-4nHc#v=onepage&q&f=false
Chadive, S. (2024, January 24). Second take: The obsession with celebrity relationships is getting out of hand. Daily Bruin. https://dailybruin.com/2024/01/24/second-take-the-obsession-with-celebrity-relationships-is-getting-out-of-hand
Kemp, S. (2025). Digital 2025: Global overview report. DataReportal. https://datareportal.com/reports/digital-2025-global-overview-report
Loo, J. (2024). Marriage: More than a Century of Change, 1900 & 2022. Family Profiles, no. 10. Bowling Green: National Center for Family & Marriage Research. https://doi.org/10.25035/ncfmr/fp-24-10
Media Literacy Now. (2023, May 31). National survey finds most U.S. adults have not had media literacy education in high school. https://medialiteracynow.org/nationalsurvey2022/
Penning, M. J., Wu, Z., & Hou, F. (2024). Childlessness and social and emotional loneliness in middle and later life. Ageing & Society, 44, 1551-1578. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0144686X22000824
Wiborg, C. E. (2024). Recently divorced adults with resident minor children, 2022. Family Profiles, no. 13. Bowling Green: National Center for Family & Marriage Research. https://doi.org/10.25035/ncfmr/fp-24-13
Ink & Interruptions 
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